Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Conspiracy Theories

1. Lucky Charms (the cereal) is trying to brainwash our children with Christian propoganda.

What we have here are the three cereal forms in Lucky Charms. From left to right, we can obviously see a) a fish, or the symbol for Christianity, b) the Greek letter Chi, which is often used to represent Christ in writings, and c) a Christmas tree, symbolic of the holiday that celebrates Jesus's birth.

2. 24 (the hit Fox TV show) is the brainchild of Dick Cheney. In the show, Jack Bauer often resorts to torture to obtain information from a suspect. Information he needs to prevent a terrorist attack on US soil. If Jack Bauer does it, it must be okay, right? So by watching 24 the government is slowly indoctrinating the public with the idea that torture is they recently tried to convince Congress to allow the CIA exemptions from torture laws.

3. The pharmaceutical companies are to blame for the nation's obesity epidemic. The hormones in the pill are dosed for approximately a 155lb woman. Women defined as "overweight" by their BMIs have a 60% higher failure risk and "obese" women have a 120% higher failure risk. Therefore, overweight women are more likely to have unexpected pregnancies than non-overweight women...which means more overweight kids (through genetics or teaching lifestyle choices or both). And we all know that overweight America has more health conditions, like heart disease and diabetes, that the pharmaceutical companies can now sell drugs for!

This post brought to you by the fear-mongering media (but the ideas are my own creativity!)


Staci said...

Probably the lessened chances of hugely obese women finding a willing donor would even out the lesser contraception efficiency.

eric said...

there are laws against torture?? crap!

i like your conspiracy theory about the pill. makese sense to me!

Courtney said...

Staci - you'd like to think so, but I'd bet you money it isn't true. Some men actually prefer very large women.

Anonymous said...

I can vouche for that...amen