Monday, November 07, 2005

Marcus Vick owes me $10

SIX TURNOVERS. Six. When I need two hands to count your turnovers, something is very wrong. I just made good on my debts to Matt and Paul. Other than decorating my desk with Miami logos and such, they were pretty nice about it. I plan on submitting a form for reimbursement.

We watched the whole entire game, from kickoff to the final knee Miami took. I believed that we were going to see a whole different team come out of the locker room after halftime. I believed we could win, up until the very end of the third quarter. I remembered that Tech scored three touchdowns in the span of like five minutes in the 3rd quarter to beat Georgia Tech last year. I thought they could still come back until Vick's endzone fumble was recovered by Miami for their 4th score of the game. Then I just hoped we wouldn't get shutout. What made it bearable? Two martinis, and Laurie's friend Kylie. She is hilarious. Matt and I almost fell off the couch laughing at things she said several times. A sampling:

At halftime:
Kylie: I'm going to go down there and knife someone. Or stab. Knife...is that the right term?
C: It depends on where you're going. People get stabbed in Blacksburg. People get knifed in Miami.

Right after Tech scored their only touchdown:
K: I figured out the trick! Laurie was sitting on my lap when they scored!
Entire room: Get back in here Laurie!!

After the game:
K: There aren't enough meatballs in the world to fill this hole. (She wanted a Wawa meatball sub earlier).

and
K: I'm going to need seven orgies to forget this game. And I'm a woman, so you know I'm not gonna plan them!

Also said:
Nate: There's this drink...it's a mix of vodka, nyquil, and ecstasy.
K: I don't think we have any ecstacy.
C: Well, you know what Meatloaf said - two out of three ain't bad.

K: Can you snort crack?
C: No, I think the rocks get stuck in your nose.

N: You're the best Hokie that didn't go to VT that I've ever met.

Yeah, that's right. Maybe I don't know the fight song (Matt doesn't either) but I know the Hokie High cheer. I've rattled my keys on third down and sang "Stick it In" with the marching band. I never went to the school other than weekends and one class with Matt, but I'm a Hokie fan whether they're 10-0 or 0-10. I don't "own" the Hokies only when they're good. I consider myself a Hokie because I like them, I married into the VT family, and at least 75% of my friends are Hokies (at Matt's b-day party last month, everyone there was a Hokie except for me and Dan). So there.

Oh yeah, what's with Notre Dame (6-2) being ranked higher in the human polls than VT (8-1)? I swear, ND is the most overrated team in NCAA football. At least the BCS rankings look fairly reasonable right now...ugh, who ever thought the BCS standings would be good.

Now, for my essay of the day: Why I will never go back to Pep Boys.

So, I got a flat tire in the parking lot on Saturday, somehow. AAA came out on Sunday and put the spare on, but by the time they made it out here it was too late to have the tire fixed. So I had to go this morning. Now, I will tell you that Matt told me to go to Pep Boys. He will tell you that he told me to go to Washington Lube first. But that's beside the point now.

As a customer, I expect several things.
1. When I come up to the counter, I expect to be acknowledged. Even if you are on the phone or something, a simple "Be with you in a minute" will suffice. Or even eye contact. I do not expect to be ignored by 6 different people behind the counter for over 10 minutes when I'm the only one waiting.

2. I expect that the job will take reasonably close to the amount of time you tell me. If you say "about an hour" I expect an hour. Maybe an hour and a half. I do not expect it to take almost 3 times that long. Putting on two new tires does not take an additional hour and 45 minutes after the hour I waited for you to tell me you couldn't patch my tire (also suspect, but I have no way of proving it).

3. I expect to be treated like a regular customer and not a "girl." Do not call me "dear" or ask me if I'm waiting here or going shopping. I just told you I was waiting here. You wouldn't ask a man that.

4. When I pay, I expect you to have my keys ready for me or to have my car brought around. I do not expect to have to stand on the sidewalk for several minutes like a twit, walk over to the side where my car is parked and look inside to see if the keys are in the ignition, and then have to go back inside to ask for my keys. And when I do come back up to the counter, don't say "Oh, need your keys?" Of course I need my keys, you jerk. I am not capable of performing a vulcan mind meld on the engine block.

Okay, that's all. I'm angry again now. And who knows when I'll be leaving, since I didn't get here (or get to eat anything) until 1:30. What a waste of a day.

6 comments:

Edge said...

Please teach my wife to talk like this about football and cars. ... please ...

~Jef

eric said...

ah, so i'm not the only one going to the wrong places to get new tires. at least yours only took 3 hours or so. i was told it would take "about an hour" for my car, and it ended up being over 5.

Matt Silverthorn said...

See, honey, it could have been worse.

Courtney said...

But were you waiting there the whole time? My butt fell asleep from sitting in their lousy chair.

Anonymous said...

Once when I was a kid it took 6 1/2 hours to get an oil change on my mom's '83 Dodge Colt, so she let my brother and I run rampant through their showroom. I remember some guy yelling at me for climbing on a pile of tires and knocking them over.

-Seth

eric said...

since the guy originally told me "about an hour", i figured that could fit into my lunch break. so i went to a fast food place nearby, then just bummed around the little shopping center that the tire place was in for another hour or two. after 2 or 3 hours, i hadn't gotten a call saying my car was ready, so i went in the place to ask the guy how much longer. "about an hour" he said, like a bad joke. so i asked him how many cars were still in front of mine, and he said "six". so i called a friend to come pick me up, take me back to work for a couple hours, then drive me back to the tire place. it was a big hassle in all. if i had just known it would have taken that long in the first place, things would have been much easier. but at least i didn't just sit in their lobby the whole time.