Friday, December 22, 2006

What is wrong with kids today?

I cannot believe that out of my three cousins in college, NONE of them have MySpaces. I'm going to send them a strongly worded letter.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

S3XXX!

The birth of hornymanatee.com (link goes to SFW article, not the actual site).

We got our yearly "this is your condo insurance policy" from Allstate today. Among other exclusions (including "insects" which would cover the killer bees that Matt was concerned about), this was also listed under the Family Liability and Guest Medical Protection section:
Your policy does not include venereal diseases, herpes, AIDS, AIDS related complex, or HIV under the definition of "bodily injury" (see definition of "bodily injury" in your policy). This means that there is no coverage for venereal diseases, herpes, AIDS, AIDS related complex or HIV under your policy.

So basically what the department of redundancy department is trying to say, is that if you get the clap while in our condo, don't come crying to us.

But thankfully there's no exclusion for robots.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Open mouth, insert foot

I bet Virginia voters are real proud that they elected this guy.

(P.S. Even if I thought he had a valid concern, the way he voiced it was absolutely terrible).

DMV suckitude

I think I went to high school with one of these guys (Will Carsola).

Monday, December 18, 2006

Braaaaaaaaains

I wouldn't wear this shirt, but it still amuses me.

"Makeup, ponies, stickers and myspace.com!"

Apparently people approve of my new MySpace profile picture, since I've gotten 8 random friend requests since I put it up yesterday.

Friday, December 15, 2006

MSN, Really...what the crap?

Okay, read the sub-headline and first two paragraphs of this article and tell me what's wrong.

Fuzzy math much??

Hanging by...a blood vessel?

Apparently the slim hold the democrats have on the senate is in jeopardy due to a congenital brain abnormality that hospitalized Sen. Tim Johnson this week. Cue Pat Robertson with the message that God struck him down to give control of this godless nation back to the chosen prophets in 3...2...1...

My "tuition" here is $16,100 a semester.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Two Letters

Dear Baltimore,
London called. They want their fog back.
Love, Courtney

--------

Dear Producers of "Now That's What I Call Christmas,"
Putting the word "christmas," "gift," or "holiday" into an R&B/pop/love song does not make it a Christmas song.
Love, Courtney

She's not crazy, just a little misunderstood

So I had no idea that so many people would interpret "red cells" as red BLOOD cells, and asked me if I was anemic or not feeling well.

The voice in the Giant self-checkout lanes says "lemons" extremely pleasantly. Sometimes I buy a lemon just to hear her say it. Okay, not really.

Last week I had to explain to Nick what a "sugar momma" was. That was an amusing conversation.

I love that VaCo leaves me comments on MySpace.

There's a billboard advertising Adult Swim on my way home from work. What I don't understand is how a pink cube with a >:[ face giving me the finger (well, there's no other reason for a "censored" sign over your hand, right?) is supposed to make me want to watch TV.

I'm so static-y in the winter time that if I'm listening to my iPod while taking my coat off, my headphones crackle.

Matt came home with a giant box the other day and said that it was my Christmas present. I have NO IDEA what it could be, since the two things I cut out of catalogs and stuck on his desk on November 15th could both fit inside a shoebox.

We have just about everything collected for the family we adopted at work. It's a dad with two boys (mom died in May of lupus). Their family wish was a Playstation 2. Check. We also got them stockings, sweatshirts, board games and books. Oh, and an extra controller, memory card, and Madden '07. I tried to get Madden '06 because it was half the price of '07...ordered it online, only to find out the next day that it was back-ordered until the 22nd. No one else had it in store, and to order it from any place else would have only been $5 cheaper than '07. Whatevs.

Got the Christmas cards out, packages mailed, all but one batch of cookies made/decorated. All presents made; all but five bought (and we don't need three of them until the 30th).

Matt got his Christmas bonus this week, and my preliminary number crunching for our taxes is showing another nice refund, even though we changed our withholding this past year to have less taken out. I'm not really complaining. I hope we can get a new mattress and go on vacation, maybe with Carly and Eric this year. I haven't been to the beach in a long time.

That's about all I've got.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

I have...

RED CELLS.

It's okay that you don't understand that. Just trust me on the fact that this is a good thing.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Ain't it funny how we're all getting old

Apparently the new code word for civil war is "regional conflagration." Good to know we're all on the same page now.

I realized the other day that "A Toyota" is a palindrome. How do people come up with palindromes anyways? And I don't mean the lame ones, like "Did mom pop? Mom did." I mean the ones like "Go hang a salami. I'm a lasagna hog!"

I wish my hair looked as good dry as it did wet. Maybe I'll start a new trend. Instead of bed-head, I'll have shower-head.

As her voice becomes music, music the waltz
Which was over before it began
- VaCo

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Michigan sucks

Not the football team. Although I do think that it would have been a little silly for them to play Ohio State again. But I digress.

A newly passed law makes it a crime for a man to "'change or attempt to change an existing housing or cohabitation arrangement' with a pregnant significant other, to 'file or attempt to file for a divorce' from his pregnant wife or to 'withdraw or attempt to withdraw financial support' from a woman whom he has been supporting" if doing so could be construed as coercing her to have an abortion.

This law is wrong on so many counts that I simply don't know where to begin. Blech.