Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Reprints

Okay, I had to put these here because they're so FUNNY.

First off, for all the "irresponsible homeowners are defaulting on their McMortgages and we need the government to bail out the housing industry" bellyaching, we still get a brazillion cash-out refinance offers. Like the one we received yesterday. Here's the fine print terms for a company that wants to give us $46,250 and a "NEW LOWER MONTHLY PAYMENT" that's about $150/month cheaper than what we currently pay:
This example loan is based on a first mortgage refinance 2/28 Adjustable Rate Mortgage loan with an interest-only payment feature, a loan-to-value ratio of 80% and 2.09% origination points. The monthly repayment example is based on 360 payments (with the disclosed payment being the initial interest-only payment of $1164.31, a contract interest rate of 5.99% and an Annual Percentage Rate (APR) of 9.06% (APR assumes that a prepayment penalty option is selected). The initial rate and APR are variable rates which may increase after closing, at the end of the 2 year fixed rate interest only payment period. The interest only portion of the mortgage provides an initial lower monthly payment in exchange for assuming a higher monthly payment in the future when the interest only term expires.
Umm yeah, so I can pay some company about $5000 to give me a loan that saves me $3600 over 24 months and then slams me with a payment that's AT LEAST $900 more per month? No thanks. I can't believe this crap is still legal.

The other one is a little longer, but substantially funnier. So, as (I think) I've mentioned before, my dad bought us a subscription to The Washington Times, who promptly sold our name to all the right-wing mailing lists. We got an offer for a subscription to National Review:
Dear Friend,

You know "the look," don't you?

It's the look of profound sadness that crosses over the face of a network "anchorperson" who, once again, has had his or her heart broken by cruel conservatives who thwarted Nancy Pelosi's bill to, let's say, provide government-subsidized weddings for Gay and Lesbian Free-Range Poultry Farmers.

Or perhaps it's the angst-ridden lament of a New York Times columnist whose dreams of a "nuanced and compassionate" White House led by President Alec Baldwin and Secretary of State Cindy Sheehan appear not on the way to becoming reality.

You see the looks...you read the words...and you cringe: Is this just a bad dream or have the inmates really taken over the asylum?

Well, they certainly own most of the news media. And the universities. And the public education system. And nearly every square inch of Hollywood and Malibu.

Take heart! You are hereby invited to feel SANE again - and to enjoy an intelligent news source with the guts to enthusiastically skewer America's worst gasbags, liars and frauds. It's fun!

And it's a breeze to try a copy of NATIONAL REVIEW.

You're invited to enjoy a complimentary issue - sent entirely at our expense. Our next issue is due out soon, and it's yours to read free.

Try NATIONAL REVIEW. See how much fun it is to play "offense"...to rub their noses in their own sanctimonious hypocrisy. Just return the enclosed card - and start feeling sane again!

Best regards,
Jack Fowler
Publisher
This is everything that's wrong with politics today, on both sides of the plate. And maybe even a little sadistic.

No comments: